I have something I need to tell you, " he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you,...
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Veronica Roth
I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
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Scott Adams
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
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Lemony Snicket
When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"...
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Erma Bombeck
And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders.
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Cassandra Clare
More Quotes By Eugene Mirman
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you! ' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in...
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.
Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.
